That they may have life... In all its fullness !
Succesful Stories
1. Catch Me If You Can
If there is one story that stands out in BOSCO this year, it is the story of one boy whose extraordinary ability to survive on the streets culminated into a journey of multiple identities and surprising reunions. When Nagma was found begging at the Bangalore City railway station by Mr.Waseem – a field worker at BOSCO, she had no idea that that day would mark her journey to getting back on her feet and her long-awaited reunion with her family. On October 4th, 2010, Mr.Waseem brought Nagma down to BOSCO’s counselling centre in Chamrajpet – BOSCO Mane. Although her life on the streets had made it difficult for Nagma to trust the counsellors at BOSCO Mane, their friendly demeanour and patience soon got her narrating her story. She said that she was born in Udaigiri, in the Mysore district of Karnataka, and had run away from home. With remorse she stated that this was because her father had killed her mother and she could not bear living with him. She had come to Bangalore en-route to her uncle’s house in Mumbai. Unable to afford a ticket to Mumbai, Nagma had no option but to resort to begging in the Bangalore City railway station. Here she was continuously heckled and abused. In the counselling session that followed, she repeatedly stated that she wanted to go to Mumbai as soon as possible. Although the staffs at BOSCO were ready to help her get to Mumbai, they were unable to do so as Nagma did not have the address to her uncle’s house. Over a period of time, the counsellor observed certain inconsistencies in her speech, her body language and gestures. She took Nagma to a private room and asked her to remove the shawl that was covering her face. There was resistance from her side and she gave many reasons to hide her identity. When she finally obliged and removed her shawl, the counsellor was surprised to see that Nagma was actually a boy and was pretending to be a girl just to attract the attention of the people around him! In the days that followed, the counsellor closely observed the child and was able to find out a little more. The child revealed his name to be Kalendher and said that he was from Mysore. He refused to provide the counsellor with his address and family contact number which made it difficult for BOSCO staff to trace his family or find him proper rehabilitation. BOSCO staff assumed that the reason for this was because he was still traumatized by the murder of his mother and was reluctant to go back to his father. Throughout this process, Kalendher exhibited signs of depression and self-harm. He was often found cutting himself and showed a number of suicidal tendencies. In fear of him seriously injuring himself, the counsellor requested the Child Welfare Committee (CWC) to get him admitted into NIMHANS. Unable to settle in there, he was sent back to BOSCO Mane. The child-friendly atmosphere and loving care from the staff at BOSCO Mane supported Kalendher’s recovery. With the special care and support given to him at BOSCO Mane, Kalendher was gradually getting better. Although he continued to show signs of self-harm, he was able to come out of his isolation and accept the care given to him. Kalendher began getting involved in the various activities at BOSCO Mane and started interacting with the other children. The frequent guidance given by the counsellor also helped tremendously. Kalendher was slowly regaining his strength and began opening up more and more to the BOSCO staff. In one counselling session, Kalendher finally admitted the true story of his journey to Bangalore. He said that his name was Amir, that his parents were alive, and that he had a younger sister. He gave the address of his house in Mysore as well. He added that he had run away from home a year ago along with his friends. His plan was to earn sufficient money to go to Mumbai, but his friends had left him and he was alone, not knowing where to go. One day, he got into a train and reached Bhadravathi in Shimoga District. There he worked for two days in a hotel. Later he met a Muslim family that promised to give him food and a job. He worked as a servant in their house for nearly eight to nine months. Initially, he did not face problems working there, but later they began to harass him physically and mentally. He ran away from the family, stealing the clothes of the owner’s daughter. He wore the girl’s clothing and began begging in the Bangalore City railway station. It was here that Amir was found by the BOSCO staff disguised as Nagma. Finally able to trace his family, BOSCO enquired in the Udaigiri police station of the Mysore District. However they found that the police had not received any complaint about a child named Amir. BOSCO persevered in their search for Amir’s family and pushed the police of the Udaigiri police station to intensify their search. The tireless effort made by the staff at BOSCO and the Udaigiri police eventually yielded successful results. Amir’s parents were finally traced in a neighbouring village. Amir’s parents and sister were elated by the news of his rescue. They immediately packed their bags and started for Bangalore to meet him. When they finally met Amir, they were filled with joy. Tears rolled down their faces as they embraced their son who they missed very much. They later explained that they were searching for Amir for the past year. His mother said that he was 14 years old and he had studied in a Madrasa school. She also narrated the reason for his escape to Bangalore – Amir’s father would scold him now and then for not studying well. In order to escape from the further scolding, he would behave as though he was possessed and would threaten them with his actions and words. One day, he took permission to go to his grandmother’s house but he never reached there. Enquiries with his friends revealed that he had joined some of his friends who were on their way to Bangalore and from there to Mumbai. His parents were confused as to where to search for him. They did not file any complaint with the police thinking it would bring the family a bad name. The searches were mainly directed at Amir’s friends and relatives, but they could not trace him. According to his father, they spent more than Rs.30, 000 searching for him in Mumbai and Chennai. The final reunion at BOSCO Mane made them extremely happy and put an end to their grief, especially that of Amir’s mother. Amir also realized his mistake and promised that he would not leave home without informing his parents. When the BOSCO staff asked him about his refusal to furnish the actual details of his journey here and that of his family, Amir answered that he did not want to go back home as he was frightened of his father. The warm hugs from his father in BOSCO Mane proved that he still loved his son and wanted to be very close to him. The BOSCO team was happy to make this reunion possible. It was a difficult case but the outcome made the staff at BOSCO recommit to search for the families of children who are not identified. There may be several parents like that of Amir, in deep sorrow and pain, not knowing where their children are. BOSCO will continue its efforts of reuniting children with their families, and to return them to the loving care and the comfort of their home.
2. The Young Achiever: Sunil Nayak’s Story
Lack of care and protection, abuse and poverty forced sunil Naik to run away from home luring him to life on the streets. For two years sunil lived on the streets of Bangalore picking rags, begging and stealing which in-turn fuelled his drug addiction. But today, sunil has been groomed into a promising and responsible boy. He is now studying well, excels in sports and games, and exhibits fine leadership qualities. sunil narrates his story in his own words: I was born to a poor family in Kurki village of the Davengere District in Karnataka. I have two elder brothers. My father was an alcoholic and would beat my mother every day. Frustrated with life, my mother took us to our aunt's house, which was in the town of Davengere. My uncle was a nice person and I loved him very much. He took care of us and gave us food, shelter and protection. He was also kind enough to enrol me in a nearby school. Later we rented a house and began to live separately from my uncle. One morning my brother woke me up and went out of the house. When he came back, he still found me sleeping which made him angry. He then began to beat me. I was sad and depressed. That day, I left home and reached Bangalore by train. I was just eight years old.I was born to a poor family in Kurki village of the Davengere District in Karnataka. I have two elder brothers. My father was an alcoholic and would beat my mother every day. Frustrated with life, my mother took us to our aunt's house, which was in the town of Davengere. My uncle was a nice person and I loved him very much. He took care of us and gave us food, shelter and protection. He was also kind enough to enrol me in a nearby school. Later we rented a house and began to live separately from my uncle. One morning my brother woke me up and went out of the house. When he came back, he still found me sleeping which made him angry. He then began to beat me. I was sad and depressed. That day, I left home and reached Bangalore by train. I was just eight years old. One day, along with my friends, I visited BOSCO Yuvodaya at Gandhinagar. They knew all the staff at BOSCO. My friends would talk to them, play with them and I found them very happy. My friends introduced me to BOSCO staff as well. They spoke to me kindly but I gave them wrong information about myself. They told me to stay there and in two days I was sent to Don Bosco Ajjanahalli, which is a rehabilitation centre. I was there for two years after which I was sent back home to Davengere. I was so used to the freedom and life on the street that I could not stay at home. I was thus back on the streets of Bangalore within a week! Again, the staff of BOSCO took me back to Don Bosco, Ajjanahalli. After staying there for three months, they decided to send me back home for the second time. I begged Fr. Varghese Pallipuram, the Director of the Centre, not to send me home. Hearing my plea, he sent me to Don Bosco Sujyothi in Davengere, another rehabilitation Centre. After a year there, I wanted to see my mother. So I went home. I began to study at home. I was then in 6th standard.After six months, my inclination to be back on the street increased. This made me run away for the third time and like always, I reached Bangalore.There I met my old friends and fell back into my street habits. Oneday, my friends and I decided to go in a tour around India. We were in Mumbai for one month, inChennai for two weeks and in Goa for five months. Then we came back to Bangalore. I began to work as a ragpicker. After some time I left rag picking and began to work in a Kalyana Mantapa. In the Mantapa, I earned a sum of Rs. 75/- a day. I spent the money I got on 'ganja', 'solution' and 'liquor’. During the Deepavali season in the same year, I worked in a different place for one month and earned Rs. 15,000/-. On receiving the money, my friends and I decided to move from the streets to a rented house. After two months of living in the rented house all our money was over and I was back to BOSCO, Gandhinagar. When I went toBOSCO Yuvodaya, I met Fr. Edward, the Director. He smiled at me. I did not respond and did not give him any respect. I beganto visit BOSCO every day. Whenever I went to BOSCO, Fr. Edward would talk to me and would advise me to livea better life. One day, Father called me and took me to the nearby hotel and bought me a 'masala dosa' and juice.There he began to talk to me as a friend. He told me that I was a good boy and that I could lead a much better life. It was the first time that someone had ever praised me for my qualities. He gave me a lot of guidance. And so I decided to change my ways. On the same day, Mr Ramaswamy, a staff at BOSCO, admitted me into 'Abhayadama' in Whitefield. 'Abhayadama' is a rehabilitation centre run by another NGO. In a few days they admitted me in 6th standard in St. Joseph's School, which was near the Centre. The motivation that Fr. Edward gave me was always in my mind. I began to study well. Besides this, I developed a liking for games, particularly volleyball and football. I got a chance to participate in sports and athletics too. My P. T. teacher, Mr Srinivas, was my real inspiration. He moulded me into a good football player. All my teachers supported me and encouraged me. After completing my 7th standard, I told Fr. Edward that I would like to go back home. But he advised me to stay here and complete my studies. I was brought to BOSCO Vikas on April 10th. I joined 8th standard (Kannada medium) of St. Joseph’s High School, Chamrajpet. At St. Joseph’s, Chamrajpet, I took a lot of interest in sports. When I was in 9th standard I was qualified for the State–level 100m race. I was the first student in the history of the school to qualify for the State! They liked me because I was good to everyone and took a lot of initiatives. Seeing my performance, the management and the staff at St. Joseph’s school elected me as the School – Pupils’ Leader for one year in 10th standard. This too was a great honour for me as it was the first time in the history of the school that a student from the Kannada Medium section became the School Pupils’ Leader representing over 4,000 students! I completed my SSLC scoring 62 per cent marks. Meanwhile, I kept in constant contact with my family. My father, mother and brothers were proud of my achievements. Since I had a great desire to study further and also to be with my family, I decided to go home and join a college in my home-town, Davengere. Hence after attending a youth camp in Hassan, in April, I left for home in May, 2011. Soon I applied for PUC at ARG (Anjan Rajendraguru Basappa College) College, Davengere. Though I wanted to study Science, I had to be satisfied with Commerce studies. Now I am 18 years old and doing 1st PUC. I keep good contact with the Fathers, particularly Fr. Edward, Shafi Master, and other staff members at BOSCO. I have a desire to become an IAS Officer to inspire and motivate others. My new life is a gift from BOSCO!
3. “Be an example for the children to come”: Malhari’s BOSCO
Every child that comes to BOSCO has an adventurous story that narrates their journey from their homes – to the streets and finally to the rehabilitation centres at BOSCO. It is only when they are in the comfort of the home and with staff at BOSCO that they are able to open up and talk about their hardships and life on their own. The story of Malhari (Malhqarui Baburao) highlights the strong relationship BOSCO forms with the children it helps. When Malhari narrated his story to Ms Sushma, the counsellor, he truly opened up his heart to her. His face lit up brightly as he poured out his feelings of gratitude towards BOSCO, particularly to Ms Silvi and Mr Arokia, senior staff of BOSCO and their contribution towards moulding his life into what it is today. Malhari was born to a traditional Hindu family in Tasgaonin, a small village in Sangali District of Maharashtra, on the 7th of February 1992. Baburao, his father and Gokula, his mother were weekly-wage agricultural labourers. Malhari is the youngest and only son in a family of six children. With too many mouths to feed, all his sisters worked to contribute towards the income of the family. Being the only son, the whole family had great expectations from Malhari: to become a good farm hand and look after the family. No one in his family ever went to school. They had three goats and one buffalo in the house - his mother had to manage them all on her own. Even at the age of 8-9, Malhari remembers doing odd jobs like selling newspapers, working in a bakery or in fields to earn money for the family. In addition to all of this, Malhari’s father was an alcoholic. He would often beat his mother and sisters when drunk. This happened mostly on Wednesdays. Wednesday was the weekly market day and thus his father would bring all his ‘bottle-mates’ home to have a party. His mother had to use the little money they saved, to cook meat for the party. Once the party was over, the beating and abuse session would begin, which was longer and more severe on this day. This was a painful sight for the little boy Malhari. It was on one occasion, that Malhari left home. His mother and sisters were beaten badly by his father that day. Unable to take it any longer, Malhari picked up an argument with his father for which he was thoroughly beaten up too. That night, Malhari left home with only the clothes he was wearing and the little money he had with him. He headed towards the Pune Railway Station which was four hours away by bus. This marked the 14 year old boy’s journey living on the streets. On his own, Malhari did what he could to survive. He would steal from food stalls to ease his hunger and sleep on station platforms to get his rest. Malhari moved from station to station looking for food and a place to go. In fear of getting caught for all the food he stole, Malhari left the Pune railway station and headed for Chennai. At the Chennai railway station, he was approached by a man named Sangappa. This man offered Malhari the work of taking care of 10 buffaloes in exchange for food and a place to stay. Malhari accepted and began to work for Sangappa. Sangappa’s family was rich. They had 10 acres of agricultural land in addition to the cattle. Despite this, Malhari’s stay there lasted only a month. The verbal abuse from Sangappa’s wife was unbearable. He was not given regular meals and whatever he got was stale, leftover food. Once again Malhari found himself on his own and at the train station. This time, he headed for the Bangalore City railway station. Here, Malhari narrates that he had been roaming on the fourth platform of City Railway Station for a day when Br. Noel, a staff of BOSCO, saw him. At this time he had lost hope of finding a job and was finding it difficult to trust people. Brother managed to convince him to accept his support and brought him to BOSCO Mane in Chamrajpet. Here Malhari expressed his desire to study and so was sent to Don Bosco, Ajjanahalli - a sub-centre of BOSCO, to continue his education. At the centre, Malhari shares that he was finding it very difficult to adjust as he only spoke Marathi. He did not know Kannada or Hindi and had never gone to school before. Thus, he came back to BOSCO Mane where the counsellor Sr. Sheeba spoke to him and found out his worries. It was then decided that it would be better for Malhari to join the skill-training programme. Malhari chose to get trained in welding among all the given options. He successfully completed the basic training in a year and a half after which he was sent to Summanahalli for one year of practical experience in welding. Malhari was then placed in BOSCO Yuvakendra. His stay in Yuvakendra had a positive impact on his life. It was here that he came in contact with Silvi aunty, the senior counsellor of the Centre. In Malhari’s words, “from Silvi aunty I knew what love and affection meant. She trained me on the right way to behave.” With his training complete, he was recruited by Datta Fabricators for work and stayed in a rented room. After six months of working there, sometime in the middle of June, Malhari’s father saw Silvi aunty while he was waiting for a bus at the Toll Gate bus stand. During this meeting Ms Silvi motivated him to reunite with his family but it was clear that Malhari was not ready for that as yet. Ms Silvi took the initiative and wrote to his parents in his village. On hearing from Ms Silvi, Malhari’s father called BOSCO and asked if he could visit Malhari. Within minutes of seeing their long lost son, Malhari’s parents were filled with joy, love and affection. The three of them embraced each other with tears in their eyes. They kept their 18 year old son in their lap as though he was a new-born baby and were extremely grateful to BOSCO, especially to Ms Silvi, for supporting and protecting their son for all these years. But most of all, they were grateful to BOSCO for giving their son so much love and care when they were not around. In July, 2010, Malhari went home with his parents. In his absence, Malhari saw that the entire village had changed and his father had reduced his drinking. He was happy to see that his house remained as he remembered it and all his sisters were now happily married. Malhari moved in with his sister in a neighbouring village and started a new job at Prabhat Fabricators for a salary of Rs. 7,500. However, still seeing his father suffer from the bad habit of alcoholism, Malhari was anxious to help him get out of it. And so with the assistance of Ms Silvi and a doctor he had met in the village, his father’s situation drastically improved. The doctor prescribed a medicine which was to be mixed with tea and given to Malhari’s father. From that day, Malhari took the responsibility of giving this tea to his father. Malhari soon saw that with regular use of this medicine, his father’s addiction reduced. Malhari’s ability to help his family, in addition to his new job and life in the village, gave him an enthusiastic and positive outlook towards life. He took his father to Kolhapur Panduranga temple to strengthen his will to completely leave alcohol. The change in his family gave Malhari tremendous hope. He was now able to live happily with his family without feeling the need to run away. Malhari shows confidence in staying and facing all the obstacles around him instead of running away. He has bought a new house for himself and his family as a mark to start a new life and be an example for the children to come. Malhari continues to give credit to BOSCO and Ms Silvi for giving him direction and reuniting him with his family. The bond that he formed with BOSCO has stayed with him through his life and supported every decision of his. Malhari continuous to keep in touch with BOSCO and is confident about the organization’s ability to transform the lives of children.